For months now, we have been filling this journal with high hopes and positive thoughts. We have let our minds vent through our pens, and say how we should feel, what we should do, and any other thoughts they have when things are going well. But that isn’t always how ECOEE works. With every low in most of these journal entries comes a high. I know at least I feel sometimes that with the journal being on the blog, it isn’t always easy to elaborate on the lows, and those gaps between the peaks that seem to last forever. We don’t want any of our loved ones reading this thinking our journey is anything but fantastic.
We talk about how slim our grades will look for this semester. I think about how much progress our group has made. I observe (including myself) all of us putting the blame on Jeff and Kim, while they toss it right back at us. We all have things we could have done better. I’m supposed to be your guru on trees, a topic I teach with unfortunate mediocrity. I remember talking to Becky on the hone one night while discouraged, and she was trying to get me back on task. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve finished a semester disappointed with my performance, and with two weeks left that’s exactly where I’m at. This is exactly what she warned me about. I feel worse about my LOD days, lessons, and overall have been performing more and more poorly since we left this August.
While that’s one side, the places we have seen have been getting better and better. Baja California is a great place to spend Thanksgiving, and Francisco is a truly great person with some amazing insight to give us. He turns a shitty mood around like no one has been able to do so far, and has a refreshing balance of leadership qualities to keep us motivated. With so little time left, there is still so much to learn, which is something I am truly thankful for.
Maybe in the end, the crappy grades will be worth the journey. Maybe when we get some time to relax and put our heads and lives back on, we will truly feel like family. In the meantime, lets soak up some sun, knock the last few lessons out, learn as much as we can from Francisco, and enjoy what we’ve got while we do, cause like I said-one day we’ll wake up and this will all be over. Cheers